When God Calls Us to the Valley

      It has been said that it only takes a little faith to move the mountain. I wonder what kind of faith it takes to remain patient in the valley. For that is how I am feeling currently. It has been difficult for me to clearly define my state emotionally. It hasn't been easy for me to be honest about how I have been feeling. I have felt downcast and I couldn't understand why.

       The last message I preached was on lamenting. But that wasn’t where I intended to land.  I had first decided I wanted to focus on the motivations of obedience leading the congregation in witnessing and sharing the Word of the Lord with those around our community. But God kept nudging me about this lamenting thing. I was really wondering why we couldn’t just pass over the lamenting thing and discuss obedience. My feelings were that we don't need to lament, but obey. Yet, little did I know that, in my personal life, lamenting was obeying. The Lord needed me to recognize the lament. He was asking me to lament. The congregation probably did not know this. They did not realize how much I wanted to speak on obedience. And, ironically, I was not being very obedient at the moment.

        I had been healed and yet I felt so sorrowful. I've almost felt guilty for these emotions. And considered how others must think I feel really ungrateful. But that is so far from the truth. I am so very grateful. I am brought to tears when thinking about what the Lord has done for me. Even so, I feel these emotions and I didn't know how to express them. God led me into lamenting. He led me to give to him everything I felt and didn't feel. For he wanted to help aid me in understanding what I was going through. So, I learned to lament. I cried out to Him "I need answers." I cried out “Help me. Show me the way. Describe to me my feelings." How can a person be so sorrowful in the midst of so much fruitfulness, so much joy? Yet, that is exactly what was happening. What the congregation did not hear in my message is how much lamenting had affected my life. I had been trying to pretend that I was fine. That whatever I was feeling would soon go away and eventually I would come to the right place spiritually; it would just take time. But the word, fine, is actually an adverb meaning very well. I was lying to myself because 'very well' is not exactly what I would use to describe my emotional state. I might have looked fine on the outside, but my heart knew the truth. On the inside, my emotions were fighting with each other. They were fighting for a way out.

“Praise be to the Lord, for he has heard my cry for mercy. The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him and I am helped. (Ps. 28:6-7)."

        I'm thankful the Lord hears all of my cries, even the ones that are unknown to me. Several days ago, I spent my morning sitting in solitude, giving my time and space to the Lord. I was seeking to find rest in the Lord. As I waited in silence, I saw this picture in my mind. I imagined that I was sitting at the feet of Jesus, pleading for His help, His deliverance. I was desiring to see His purpose and to see what He was doing in me and around me because I felt stagnant. He lifted my chin to look at His face and lifted the rest of my body up from the ground, helping me to stand. He told me how He saw me and He was helping me. Then He took me by the hand and said to me, “Come, with me. I have something I need to show you.” This is where the picture ends. But it is really only the beginning. The Lord is calling me to wait patiently and that is a hard command for me to follow. Yet, I feel I a renewed joy stirring within me. Although waiting in the valley is very difficult, I know that He is about to reveal something new.

      God is showing me how He needs me to wait patiently, resting in Him, seeking endurance. “All my longings lie open before you, O Lord; my sighing is not hidden from you.” Ps. 38:9

         Normally, my soul has this burning fire for God but recently my passion to seek His presence has been limited. My passion for seeking God through prayer has felt more like a flickering flame. And, unfortunately, I have heard the Lord declare to me that this time includes a four letter word (wait) that I don’t want to experience. I responded to waiting five years ago and endured through that. And now hearing that four letter word again brings excitement, but also a little anxiety. This word, this command, once again overwhelms me. The last time I heard this command, I had an idea of what it meant, but this time I’ve just been given the four letter word of wait. Wait patiently. Be strong, take heart and wait. A command to follow God and wait upon Him. I don’t know where I am following and I don’t know what I’m waiting for. Even so, I know who I am waiting for and who is waiting with me. And in this season, He is good, worthy, and wonderful.

       The mountain is normally a place of revelation and awe. The valley is where life becomes difficult or challenging. It is where battles are fought, feelings are hurt, and attitudes develop. A place of struggle with our fears and hopes and painful circumstances. It is a place of uncertainty. Valleys are inevitable and they can come upon you without a single warning; that is what happened to me.

       This valley is not my permanent residence. It is only for a little while. This season will come and go. I want to see this season as temporary and also as a gift from God. Many times we look at the valley as a place of struggle and challenge. We view it as negative and this empty and dark place or low position in our lives. Yet, I am imagining this as a place of fertility and growth. This is a gift from God because God meets me in the valley as I revitalize my connection to Him. There is a valley in India that is called "The Valley of Flowers." Normally, when we preview the picture of the valley it is dark and maybe treacherous. But how many times do we view the image of the valley as a place of fruitfulness and such beauty? I know that I haven't seen it in this way. But, it is an exciting picture. All of a sudden I'm moved into this valley, and it is a place where I seek God as my refuge. It is a place where God is inviting me to lament, and this lamenting is bringing me to find true rest. And I know it is only for a little while, but it becomes a temporary growing space for me to be real with myself and come face to face with myself in this current season. To truly respond to God's presence of healing in my life.

     In 1931, a group of mountaineers climbed a mountain with the height of 25,000 ft located in the Himalayas. They descended to the village in the Dhauli Valley. They crossed the Zaskar range separating Dhauli and Alaknanda Valley through the Bhyundar pass. They intended to explore the mountain region in this area. The day that they crossed, a monsoon occurred. This caused them to feel very cold, wet, and miserable. Rain fell, along with sleet and snow. They tried to descend as quickly as possible. As they descended, they gradually became warmer. They were uncertain about the path they were on. Then, they looked ahead of them and looked at the landscape laid out before them. There was this large valley of beautiful flowers. It was an uncertain location. But after the storm they just faced, it was a valley of hope and beauty to their eyes.

       The valley is so unexpected. As I found myself healed, I fell into this slump. And I was unsure why. The Lord heard my cries and spoke directly to my heart. And much like the mountain climbers, I found myself stunned at the view of my valley. For the Lord gave me a new perspective. God heard my broken soul and wants to sit in the valley with me. The Lord wants to be invited into our brokenness. He wants to sit with us. He wants to grieve with us. He wants to be apart of all of our troubles, even our ugly cries (we've all had them). I look upon the valley that I stand in with great joy. Nancy Levin quotes, "Honor the space between no longer and not yet." God is asking me to honor this space. God invites me to sit in the valley in order to rediscover what it means to be still and savor His presence. As I wait for complete rest, complete joy, even complete answers, I will choose to sit in the immense valley of flowers. For in this place, God is leading me to rediscover beauty. He is gifting me with a new passion, a new fire. And He wants me to sit and let Him love me. This is not because He is Lord and He does what He wants. No, it is because He is my Abba Father. It brings Him deep pleasure to love me endlessly.

"Into your hands I commit my spirit; redeem me, O Lord, the God of truth. You knew the anguish of my soul. I trust in you, O Lord, for how great is your goodness to those who seek after you (Psalm 31)."