Graceful Abiding
I would like to present before you a series of blog posts. I don't know if I have ever done a series before, but here we are. It is this idea of what does joyful anticipation look like in reality and in realization. This first post begins with a look into a sabbath retreat that I took back in October.
Right about now I am preparing for my sabbath retreat. This is only my second retreat so I’m still learning all that needs to be entailed with it each time. But I think it is necessary to prepare for such weekends. We prepare for vacations. We prepare for the holidays. We prepare for moving or the new baby. Why wouldn’t we treat weekends with Jesus in the same way? That is what a sabbath retreat is all about. It is taking a weekend away with Jesus to pursue solitude with yourself and with your First Love. It is a glorious time of silence, worship, and sweet conversation. A weekend that any of us could greatly enjoy. A weekend that many of us would take for granted. I recognize that not everyone has the opportunity to take such weekends. And I fully acknowledge the freedom I have for such sweet times with Jesus and I, for one, try to not take this for advantage. I don’t take it lightly. I just try to enjoy it. So, I prepare for this sabbath retreat in my packing, but also in my mind and in my heart. There are many expectations I could have had in going away on this weekend. But I decided that expectations are probably not what is needed. Zero expectations felt like the right way to go. I went in only expecting to show up and ask God to do the same. And that He did.
The whole concept of joyful anticipation has seemed to escape me in the weeks of lately. But joyful anticipation found itself warmly into my soul at the thought of this getaway. The thought of getting away with just myself and the Lord was a sweet thought of joy. I was filled with joyful anticipation of what could possibly be in store for this weekend. I have to say God blew it out of the waters. Let me take a moment and share with you about this weekend. To better process the weekend for myself. But if it happens to be encouraging to you as well and the season you find yourself in, then I gladly welcome that as well.
Sometimes zero expectations are best. Sometimes zero expectations make the reality that much sweeter. And sometimes even with the best expectations, we find ourselves sweetly surprised. This was exactly where I found myself.
I felt like I entered into a new world. A world of freedom and quiet and stillness. It was really nice. I really didn’t want to leave or come back. But knew I needed to at some point.
I had no agenda but simply showing up and seeing what could happen. The first night I found myself just snuggling up with a good movie and comfort food. Later that evening, the thought of this made me quiver with guilt. Maybe this wasn’t the whole point of this weekend. Am I even sabbathing correctly? Can we even use sabbath as a verb? I mean is it really something we do? Not exactly. It is a theme of rest and a theme of being. This theme of being that I still wrestle to accept and live out rightly in my own life. This was exactly what the Lord wanted to teach in this weekend.
This whole art of receiving and abiding and being still is what I want to teach you.
He would speak softly as he tends to do: Child, just be still. Child, stop your striving, your wrestling. Sometimes I wish God would just yell at us. Anybody else? Yet, the soft whispers seem to be comforting and seem to work just as well as the yells. The comfort of being still with my good Father. The comfort of being in the presence of my Keeper. The One who holds everything together….including me.
I have been on this journey of exploring the fruits of the Spirit and all that they might mean in this current season. I have prayed many long prayers. A simple daily prayer of cultivate the fruits of Your Spirit within me. For a long time, I had intended to explore this in a deeper study. I just never really got to it. This weekend, I explored it. When else would I have this much time to just sit and read and study alongside the Lord?
I read and studied through carefully all that Martin Luther had to say about the six chapters of Galatians. I have to admit I wasn’t shocked by what he had to say as I was surprised at how it affected me. This is the third time that I am reading through Galatians within the last two or three months, and yet it affected me in a different way. I felt like I could feel God’s peace stirring the war inside of me. All the warring thoughts and the anxious thoughts stilled in His presence. The whole idea of God’s grace arrested my heart. It shocked me at how emotional one can get over God’s grace. It was almost like I was reading it for the first time. Yet, I wasn’t. But I was learning new truths all the more.
"The man who is named Jesus Christ and the Son of God gave himself for our sins."
But Christ is no lawgiver. He is the Life-giver. He is the Forgiver of sins. You must believe that Christ might have atoned for the sins of the world with one single drop of His blood. Instead, He shed His blood abundantly in order that He might give abundant satisfaction for our sins.
He loved me, and gave Himself for me. He found in me no right mind and no good will. But the good Lord had mercy upon me. Out of pure kindness He loved me, loved me so that He gave Himself for me, that I should be free from the Law, from sin, devil, and death.
Christ is Joy and Sweetness to a broken heart. Christ is a Lover of poor sinners, and such a Lover that He gave Himself for us. Now if this is true, and it is true, then are we never justified by our own righteousness.
- Martin Luther
It was almost like Jesus was speaking to me when he said to his disciples: You have been with me all this time and you still don’t get it (John 14:9). I’m sorry, Jesus for my loss of belief because I think I’m just now getting it. How beautiful it is that God chooses to speak to us in moments like these! How beautiful are the silent whispers of our good Father! God is repeating truths that should have been accepted (and believed) a long time ago. Yet, He sits with us, not condemning us, but reassuring us in even our most difficult doubts. He meets us here.
He revealed to me the gift of His grace. He reminded me of this gift of grace that He has gifted me in a tangible way. A way of showing me who He is and how He is a God of promises, but also showing me who I am and how beautiful I am to Him. This was revealed to me in the fruit of His spirit that I already have within me. Remember that prayer of cultivation? He showed me His answer to that prayer. Gentleness.
Martin Luther says, "True followers of the Gospel must not be sharp and bitter, but gentle, mild, courteous, and soft-spoken, which should encourage others to seek their company. Gentleness can overlook other people’s faults and cover them up. Gentleness is always glad to give in to others. Gentleness can get along with forward and difficult persons, according to the old pagan saying. Such a gentle person was our Savior Jesus Christ, as the Gospel portrays Him. Gentleness is an excellent virtue and very useful in every walk of life."
Gentleness is a gift. Gentleness is a fruit of the Spirit and you have it.
I may have even had it from the very beginning. I cried when I read about grace. But I bawled when I finally read about the fruits of the Spirit and their different meanings. Also, let me just say the whole teaching on what it means to receive and abide in Christ. It was mind blowing to me. God brought me to this place to rest and delight in Him.
The vinedresser supplies every need and protects against every danger. Our task is to adopt the dependent posture of a child being cared for by a good Father, a branch being tended by a good Gardener. He is honored by us as we humbly trust Him and open ourselves to Him.
Andrew Murray
"For through the law, I died to the law so that I might live for God. I have been crucified with Christ, and I no longer live but Christ Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. I do not set aside the grace of God, for if righteousness could be gained through the law, Christ died for nothing!" (Galatians 2:19-21)
It is by His wounds from the cross that we are given life. There is wounding in the vine and in the branches. He saved us from death through death.
Lord, lead me into this secret place in the presence of the Lord in the close fellowship of Your sufferings. God, you invite me into such a place, and you invite me to trust You. Trust you are near. Trust you are working in me, and you have established Christ in me. You are my Keeper. You are holding me to Yourself.
“Will you trust me to keep you abiding in Jesus and trust Jesus to make you fruitful?" Because he loves me so, I will gladly live for Him. Because He loves me and gave Himself for me I will live sacrificially and love Him in all I do.
I don’t know what I need because truly only you know what I fully need. You know the deep needs of my heart, the healings I cannot see. You draw me in. Ask me to know and trust that You are with me and you are keeping me. You just want me to come into your presence and your rest. Bring your rest to me. Hold me fast. Comfort me and restore me to faith — to your fullness you have given me. Remain with me as I choose to remain in rest and surrender with you. I depend on you. I wait for you alone. To restore. To fulfill. To give as I need even right now.
As we abide in God’s presence, where He speaks and sustains, we can serve from a new place of freedom. Abiding is where the fruits of the Spirit are produced and cultivated daily.
Thoughts to ponder:
- How much do I thirst for God?
- Reveal to me me areas in which I strive for attention.
- Reveal areas of sin that keep me from experiencing Your Love fully.
- Home is wherever God is. Jesus, teach me how to begin anew and how to care more about finding home in you. Help me to see that you are my true home and that you are always with me, no matter what.